Have you ever wondered why those stupid little ads appear at the bottom of the website you are reading? Things like ‘You won’t believe……..’ or ‘Wait until you see this………. or ‘Top Ten women in ……………’ surround all these corporate sites just begging to be clicked, read, and loved. Click bait is the modern day roadside scam (remember ‘The Thing’? What is ‘The Thing’? Pull over and find out for $15) that preys on the inquisitive nature of humans.
But who really clicks those things? I mean how stupid and gullible are people now? At first, sure we all fell for that click bait once or twice. Curiosity kills our time. But after a few, you sort of get the idea; a bunch of fodder. So why do they still exists?
Yes, I click every click bait I find. At work, on the bus, even at home, I click just about every one of these things entering a virtual rabbithole I can’t get out of until I close the window.
So why do I keep clicking this garbage when I obviously know better?
Well, to be frank, I fall for the headlines. It is my eternal optimistic way that fuels an unfounded hope that this next click bait article will sate my quest for knowledge.
I mean when I see ‘She is 51, looks 25’ well shit! I have to see that.
Or ‘Wow! Look at these football wives’, I mean goddamn, I need to look at this. I love football
Or ‘Top 10 cutest dogs ever, you won’t believe #8!’; can’t resist that, I am a dog owner (and if #8 was so amazing, why was that not #1?).
How about ‘You will NOT believe what Subway does to their bread’. I need to know this. I may NOT believe, but I need to read it at least.
Don’t forget ‘Worst golf mistakes caught on camera’. What can those be? I need to check that out.
Oh yeah, ‘10 of the most awkward photobombs ever’. You may see some boob, ass, or even more!! Not clicking that, well you may live to regret that.
And my favorite, ‘50 child stars: what do they look like now?’. Well motherfucker! I don’t know what Kim Fields looks like now, or Elizabeth Berkeley, or Eve Plumb, or that bowl-cut kid from Family Ties who appeared int he final season fro no good reason? I mean I am only human, I need to know if they aged better than I have!
So I am sorry. I know we all want to rid our lives from that annoying click bait scroll at the bottom. We all think no one is stupid enough to click that tripe. But there is one that does. Me.
My bad people.