Frozen in Time


I always hated it as a kid when a grown-up (be it family friend or relative) would see me and say such things as ‘wow, you have grown’ or ‘I remember when you were only this tall’. What the hell do you think would happen in that year span? Of course I have grown, you idiot! If that even worth commenting on? Now if I shrunk, that would be something. If you said something about that, well I would understand. I mean ‘holy shit’ if I shrunk, right? But growing? Just shut up you ass!

Well, coming soon I will become that ass. I am returning back to Tucson this week and will effectively treat Tucson like that little kid you haven’t seen in years (although visited less than 6 months ago).

I’ll be that guy who says:

  • Wow, they widened the roads here, huh. I remember when they were not as wide.

  • That Safeway right there, I remember when it was an Alpha Beta, then ABCO, now it’s Safeway.

  • Remember Pic ‘N Save? It used to be right there.

  • Whatever happened to Smitty’s?

  • There’s a Panda Express there now? I love that place!

  • Isn’t it amazing how many interesting things I say?

No. No it isn’t. None of that is interesting. It is all stupid and no one gives a care. But you know what? I’m going to say all of those things and more……

  • Remember Food Giant?

  • There used to be a Gemco there.

  • I remember when the Tanque Verde Swap Meet was actually on Tanque Verde. Cool, huh?

But wait…there’s more:

  • They did a nice job with the downtown. I remember when it was not as good as it is currently.

  • Oh, that lot on Wilmot and Tanque Verde….those places always go out of business. Remember Ice?

  • Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh

And you what? You are going to hear it, hate it, and endure it. You know why? Because you are my friend, and that’s what friends do; tolerate idiot statements. Or you are scared I’ll bring more of it:

  • Hey, that used to be a McDonald’s, then it was Arby’s, then it was a BBQ place, now it’s closed?

  • Where did the Wildcat House go?

  • There’s another Panda Express? I love that place! Did I mention that.

Yes folks. I will be treating Tucson like a growing kid, mussing up it’s figurative hair, and act like I am frozen in time. Because all cities grow, and I am an ass.