Getting Weird in Portland

This past weekend I went down to Seattle’s little brother, the town where young white kids go to retire, the land that believes that Bigfoot is real, the realm where they think their MLS title is considered a major sports championship, yes I was in Portland this weekend.

Now many of you may not have had the privilege to venture in the world that as Portlandia claims ‘is still stuck in the 90’s’. So you may only know about it by their broad and suspect stereotypes.

Such as:

  • The local attire is strictly flannel, gages in the ears, and tattoo sleeves

  • The food is completely organic, anything else is considered an affront to the culinary arts

  • The ratio of homeless able-bodied people to typical wage earners is 2:1

  • The most common ‘career’ in the city is ‘guy/girl strumming guitar, singing folk music for change’

  • The local economy mostly revolves around the ‘putting a bunch of beads on a string and selling it’ industry

  • ‘The book is always better than the movie’ is the city motto

  • Kyle MacLachlan is the mayor

  • Gluten is feared by all residents

  • For every liquor outlet, there is a strip club right next door

  • Sunday brunch is considered as sacred as Thanksgiving

  • Putting a bunch of crap on a donut is a reasonable business model

  • Civic responsibility revolves around the idea of yelling at others about human rights, vandalizing businesses, and feeling victimized yet do nothing productive to aid their cause

If you hold any or all of these narrow-minded stereotypes or cliches, well, shame on you……………………………….for being correct!!!!

Yes my friend, all of those things are true. Portlandia is not a comedy, it is a documentary.

And I love it.

It is fun to get weird for a weekend. Great beer, fun social atmosphere, delicious food, and very interesting/creative arts and crafts that really show the imagination people can have (just put a bird on it!). I will definitely go back and enjoy the unique aura that Portland proudly offers and I suggest for anyone who has not gone there to try it out.

But my god…….I could never live there.