Gym Stories: Part V

Welcome to Gymtime Stories: Part V of a CCXIII part series.

Part V: Gym Hog

I hate circuit training. First off, there is no science that shows it is an optimal way of working out. If you want to run around and work one body part, then work another, then another, then another, well fine. But do it at your own gym. We are at a public gym, stop running around like you have to get your next 1 set of 5 rows in 30 seconds or less.

But more important than that, when in a public gym, you have to share equipment. By just simply putting your towel on something does not mean it is yours. I have seen towels on machines (machines others really want to use) for 10+ minutes. The moment you decide that it is not in use, that doucher comes by and says ‘I’m not done’.

Fuck you! You are done. You don’t own the entire place. For the last 9 minutes you were running around doing something else that was worthless and shitty, you don’t get to just come by whenever you want and claim this as your own just because your smelly towel is on the bench. You are like the Disneyland Dad of the gym; drop by whenever you want and get to do whatever you want.

I have an idea. Apparently sweaty towels are some sign of ownership to you, so what do you say about this:

Yeah bitch! Looks like I just found myself a new car! Oh, is that yours? Not anymore. Don’t worry, once I’m done driving it around and smashing it into a tree, I’ll let you have your turn.

These guys have no consideration, no sense of decency, no gym etiquette to speak of. Gym etiquette is that latent understanding that separates us from gym animals, such as the gym hog.