USA! USA!: An American Tale

It’s ‘America Week’ at the Spew! To celebrate the birth of our country, this week is dedicated to what I like to call ‘The Greatest Country in the World! Or at least top 5 percentile…’

For those who say this dedication is a week late, I say ‘I didn’t know there was a time limit for loving my country, dammit!!’ So shut up and read on……

Movies are a great source to learn about our history, our culture, and how much ass we truly kick. So here is a quick rundown of the must-see movies if you really want to capture the American spirit:

The Patriot

An Aussie recounting the story of how America became a free nation? Count me in! This is a shot-by-shot illustration of how America revolutionists flipped off King George and took the land that was rightfully the Native Americans. Nothing says ‘America’ more clearly and exact than when Mel stabbed a Brit with the American flag. Did that really happen? I like to think so.

Gone with the Wind

A true portrait of America during the Civil War. The South never looked so romanticized, so beautiful, so…..American? One needs to see this movie to get a realistic feel of what America was like in 1860. It looks like such a great time and place to live, doesn’t it? Well, unless you are not a white dude.

Pearl Harbor

This event is what prompted the US to raise arms and kick some Japanese ass in WWII. But what was this time really like? Well, look no further than Pearl Harbor; a docu-drama about the social and political elements of this historic event. Granted, I have never seen it, but I bet it is very good as realistic, like the majority of Michael Bay’s work.

American Pie

Nothing symbolizes America like apple pie and suburban life. This movie has both. If you want to know what everything about growing up in modern day America, watch this movie. Granted, I haven’t seen this movie either, but I am sure it is a dead-on representation of a normal teenager’s life.

American Psycho

I saw this movie a long time ago and fell asleep during it, so I really don’t know what it is about. But from this picture, it looks like a fun and happy movie. I mean, I guess this guy is ‘psycho’ for ‘America’ Well, I am psycho for my homeland as well. I am sure every true-blooded American can relate to this film.

American History X

OK, another movie I haven’t seen. But the name is American History X. I am sure this film is chock full of fun tidbits and factoids about American history. But I would beware of one thing; this looks like it may be the tenth installment. Maybe want to see parts I-IX before seeing this one.

Lord of the Rings

OK, this movie doesn’t have much to do with America. It’s just the greatest film of all time. Just go watch it.