Into the Woods

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know what happened last week.

Everyone’s favorite half black half Asian, cad, golden shower lover, PED user, Stanford non-grad-yet-shows-up-to-all-big-Stanford-games-like-he-did-graduate, ex-golfer did it again. I swear this guy just knows how to get into the headlines. I mean Harry Hamlin can’t even get arrested in Hollywood, yet Tiger goes out for one spin in the car on bad medication and the world watches.

First off, I want to be perfectly clear about my stance on this; I do not care. I do not care about golf, I do not care about Tiger Woods, and I certainly do not care about the fact that some ex-golfer with negative personality got caught driving like a drunk sorority girl.

Secondly, I want to be perfectly clear again that the outpouring of ‘care’, be it positive or negative, is pretty stupid.

If you are on the negative side of Tiger and like to bash him, just remember this; he doesn’t play golf anymore! Who cares? He is an irrelevant sports figure now. What if Mark O’Meara was caught stealing a Hersey Bar at the 7-11? Would you care? And all those people who are so aghast by the mere possibility of someone getting a DUI…..I would bet my mortgage that they have driven home at least once being over the limit. To quote Gandalf, ‘don’t be so quick to hand out death and judgement’.

If you are on the positive side and whine to everyone that he needs our help and Tiger is a man we should have sympathy for…..well….that’s stupid also. The man has made more money than god by playing, uh, golf. Yeah, golf. The public interest around him and his life has made him significant and wealthy. If he feels he is a true victim and needs all our help, well, I will trade places with him any day. Our society needs to worry less about helping people who have everything because we gave it to them and more about far more pressing needs, like mine.

Anyway, Tiger being a loser idiot with billions of dollars is not a compelling story. It is so weird the way people glom on to such stories like this, yet will ignore other very serious stories such as the fact I ran out of milk and don’t want to go to the store today.

Oh yeah, and that stuff going on in Syria, that’s sort of important as well.